Sneaking On Trains in Oslo. Because It’s So F**king Expensive

The Euro and Sterling Pound is down or the dollar is down, or something is up. I never keep my eyes on the exchange because I never go shopping and I only spend money on food. Whatever the exchange is, it won’t stop me from supplying my beautiful chiseled body (actually it’s frumpy and gymless) with all the things it needs.

But Norway, you sir or ma’am or Viking, have crossed the line. Did I really just pay $10USD for a filet-o-fish and a Fanta? Did I? Answer me, you sonofabih.

Small Carton of Apple Juice: $4USD
Empanada: $5.50USD
Footlong Subway Steak and Cheese Sub: $10.50USD
Small Pack of Oreos: $4.63USD
Not Being Caught When Stealing Out Of The Store: Priceless. (I may or may not have really stole)

So I decided I would sneak on your public transportation and not pay a dime. Ever. How dare you guys do that to us poor, fat Americans?

In short, Norway is not the place for poor backpackers like myself. At least Oslo and surrounding territories. I spent less money eating well and sleeping comfortably in London, and we all know how crazy that Pound is.

If you must come, stay two days max, take in the hills and fjords and get the hell out. Oh, and here are a few things for you to do and places to eat in case you don’t feel like looking it up on your own:


1. Nobel Peace Museum: Brynjulf Bulls plass 1, 0250 Oslo.
An amazing look into the lives of those who brought a great amount of peace to the lives of others. Some are questionable, but most are truly about that life.

2. Ekebergparken Sculpture Park: Brynjulf Bulls plass 1, 0250 Oslo.
A great walk through the high hills of Oslo, over looking the entire city, and you get to see some amazing sculptures and installations by amazing artists

3. Far East Restaurant: Bernt Ankers gate 4, 0181 Oslo
My first Pho experience in Oslo, and I’m not gravely disappointed, an the prices, for Oslo standards, are okay.

4. Is it warm? Go buy a few bears or a bottle of wine and snacks, and head to the park with friends or strangers you meet on Couchsurfing or Tinder.

5. Tour the fjords! There are a number of cruises you can take, and if you meet the right people, you can get it for free. Visit their site and look around for what works best for you.

Honestly, I had a great time in Oslo, watching the seasons change and watching the sun go down at 11pm and come back at 3:50am. Will I come back? Sure. Viking culture intrigues me now, and it’s a great stop through on the way to Stockholm, Copenhagen, Bergen, and many other places.

Cheers, Olso, you’ve done it again.

Darnell Lamont Walker, a self-professed traveling foodie, has been found sitting at tables eating baby goat sweetbreads, drinking tequila, and laughing loudly with strangers. The writer, filmmaker, artist, and sometimes photographer puts happiness above all.