The One Thing Not To Do In Amsterdam! And Other Things

The One Thing You Shouldn’t Do in Amsterdam

More than a million times, it seems, I’ve found my way to Amsterdam, trotting through the streets, eating the mostly bland, but sometimes surprisingly amazing food, looking at the trafficked women in windows with sad faces, pricing shrooms and hashish and MDMA, and walking along the canals, hoping to be invited into a houseboat for a shot of tequila and a few laughs. Being one of my top three favorite places in the world so far, Amsterdam is always a good time. But this last visit I realized there is something I should never do again.

There are 5 of us on this Passport Required “Fly With Me” trip, and it’s just as amazing as all the others. We came for King’s Day and the end of the Tulips. What can be said about King’s Day that hasn’t already been said about Disney Land? It’s f*cking amazing. And the tulips? Well, there is no mediocrity in nature, is there? F*cking amazing. Then came Chantelle, our sixth member for the day!

“Let’s go to Rotterdam,” she said.

Never ever ever ever go to Amsterdam for more than one day and stay only in Amsterdam!

Rotterdam, an hour or so outside of Amsterdam, is a little less cluttered with those looking for coffee shops (where no one asks for coffee), and a little more filled with great vibes, playing children, black hair care stores, sidewalk diners, and a welcoming feel. It was beautiful, quiet, and a little noisy, and unbothered.

Oh! And the Poffertjes!

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Also See: Den Haag and Haarlem.

When I travel places, it’s easy for me to fall so in love with a place that I ignore the places around it. Not anymore! I’ve learned this lesson! Stop trying to discover everything about one place in one visit, and visit at least one surrounding area to get a good feel for the area.

Other things you shouldn’t do in Amsterdam:

1. Smoke a whole pre-rolled white widow joint alone.
2. Stay inside because of the rain. If you can’t play in the rain, don’t go to Amsterdam.
3. Buy drugs from street dealers, pimps, or beggars. Also, see #5.
4. Walk on bike paths, unless you want to get injured.
5. Eat cookies or random sweets from strangers, unless you like ending up naked in an alleyway or by a canal, missing all your things, and maybe your teeth.

Go to the Netherlands and have a f*cking blast!

Darnell Lamont Walker, a self-professed traveling foodie, has been found sitting at tables eating baby goat sweetbreads, drinking tequila, and laughing loudly with strangers. The writer, filmmaker, artist, and sometimes photographer puts happiness above all.