I’ve reached that age where my peers are getting pregnant on purpose, and married because of real love. We’ve put an end to remaining in bullshit relationships because we think love should sometimes be a struggle, or at least we believe we have. Because of where I believe I am in life, it freaks me out every so often when I hear “what’s gonna happen when you find that one who won’t want you to travel so much, and is ready to settle down and be still for a bit.”

What happened to the first, second, and third date being the parts where I open my veins and bleed on the table, grass or all over the mattress? Where we share who we are before any lasting emotions are invested, and we can decide to continue. With that blood, I’m free from finding that “one” who will be opposed to the life I love.

As an aquarius, a writer, a free thinker, and a traveler, I’d imagine I’m difficult to love, but extremely amazing and fun to do so as well. I come with no instructions, but with fresh perspectives, ideas, and thoughts. What will happen when I meet the one who doesn’t want to travel is we’ll part ways after date three, or date four we’ll be sharing peanuts and Biscoff cookies on a Delta flight to South Africa, wondering why this hadn’t happened sooner.

I joke, though, and probably have written numerous things about my search for a Kim Porter if I’m unable to find the one who will occupy window, middle or aisle seats. Kim Porter is fine kicking it at home, tending to her hobbies, loving the life she’s built while I’m doing the same, knowing we’ll be together in a few days, and there will be gifts, and new fragrances, and more stories to share, and remember when we get older. Of course we know what happened with Kim Porter in the end, but like a Choose Your Adventure book, we can change that.

“Come, let’s smoke pure haze in a coffee shop on De Clercqstraat and hate ourselves after, or eat some salt fish and ackee in Brixton,” I’ll say. “Hop a bus with me to Montreal, or a train to Oakland. I found a guy on craigslist who will do our tattoos for $100.” Laugh, pack and come. Or be home so I can kiss you when I get back.