I Smelled All-A-Be-Damned

10.3.13 – 3:00AM

For the last four hours I’ve smelled like a bum’s pocket. We’ve been good the last few days with no deodorant, but today, I lost the battle. Too much moving around, in and out of hot and cool, and there it was…the smell. I smelled like a New Jersey Path Train headed to Jersey City from Manhattan on a hot summer day. I’m keeping my hoodie zipped all the way up to block some of the odor from those around.

We’ve been staying in hostels, so I’ve been nipping a little toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash from whoever in the room had some, and given the USD to British Pound conversion, I would have certainly used some deodorant also, had I found some. I am not above it. Wiping off the top first with a little tissue.

Note: Pack everything that will make you smell delightful.

Best smelling city: Paris! OMG, the most expensive colognes and perfumes were everywhere. And some of you know I can barely walk by a fragrance shop without pulling out my wallet. I now get the jokes when I would hear an older person tell someone “you smell like a french hooker.” While they were trying to cheapen then person they smelled, I can now only imagine a French hooker smelling sweeter than a plate of yams, extra syrup.

10.3.13 – 3:11PM

I no longer smell as bad, but still haven’t showered. When we stopped at the bottom of England to hop on the ferry, I ran to the restroom, took off my shirt, ran it under the water and soap and wiped my underarms until they damn near bled. Then I ran to the gift shop, and the only thing they had was AXE. I sprayed like I was back in the Projects spraying roaches. I am fresh-er. And I am grateful.

Darnell Lamont Walker, a self-professed traveling foodie, has been found sitting at tables eating baby goat sweetbreads, drinking tequila, and laughing loudly with strangers. The writer, filmmaker, artist, and sometimes photographer puts happiness above all.


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