“Fucking a flight attendant,” she told him, laughing and trying to drink the rest of her Orangina at the same time, “is no different from fucking a waitress if you’re not getting any flight benefits out of it. Hell, fucking any woman with a job. Stop taking pride in the wrong things.” I laughed, too, and when he walked off, ego hurt and saddened, I walked over and asked if I could interview her for Passport Required. She told me it’d be cool as long as I don’t use her name, and as long as no one new she was a Flight Attendant for American, or Delta, or Southwest, or whoever she works for.
She gave me 5 minutes.
Me: Give me 10 things every passenger should know Flight Attendants hate. Be candid. Your name will not be published.
Her: Oooh. Give me your email, and I promise to send you a list by tomorrow. These are things I need to think about.
She told the truth. I woke up to this:
She stopped there. I messages her one last question, “What’s the worst thing you did to a passenger who made you upset?” Two days later, she responded, “let’s just say, if you ever piss off your flight attendant, at least a couple of the ones on my airline, do not order a drink that’s isn’t prepackaged.”
Happy flying. Treat your Flight Attendants with respect.
Darnell Lamont Walker, a self-professed traveling foodie, has been found sitting at tables eating baby goat sweetbreads, drinking tequila, and laughing loudly with strangers. The writer, filmmaker, artist, and sometimes photographer puts happiness above all.